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In our early 20s, many of us are introduced to the post-grad world, which is apparently full of possibilities. The skyâs the limit! Anything we can put our mind to we can accomplish! Live your dreams!
Or so weâve been told. Bombarded by messages of endless opportunity, itâs not insane to expect things to just sort of work out as theyâre supposed toâ"just like they did while you plodded through high school and (if you're lucky) college, from class to class and grade to grade.
Once you accept that being 'grown up' isnât exactly what you thought it would be, it can be pretty freeing.
But as youâve probably realized by now, life isnât always linear. Things donât always turn out the way you pictured in elementary school, doodling your dreams in your favorite Lisa Frank notebook. While itâs sort of terrifying, once you accept that being âgrown upâ isnât exactly what you thought it would be, it can be pretty freeing.
Iâm not saying setting goals isnât worthwhile (it is)â"but when your goals take a little longer to reach or you end up shifting your priorities, thatâs OK too. From settling down to paying off all your loans, here are 12 things you donât have to have figured out quite yet.
1. How to Travel the World
I donât think I have to tell you that traveling is awesome: It opens your eyes to new cultures, beautiful sights, and different types of people. But itâs also stressful, time-consuming, and expensive. And when you follow the adventures of travel bloggers on Instagram, days spent in a cubicle donât quite compare.
However, putting off a career (and real life) to bounce from Yacht Week to music festival to 10-day yoga retreat isnât 1) all that realistic and 2) all itâs cracked up to be. Science even confirms it: One study found that social media does a great job of highlighting all the glamorous upsides of a jet-setting lifestyleâ"without portraying the potential drawbacks. As this writer puts it, a picture might be worth a thousand words, but it also leaves out two thousand others.
2. The Person Youâll Marry
As if relationships werenât tough enough, we now have Tinder and every other app thrown into the mix, making dating in your 20s a whole new game. All that swiping makes it seem like there are a ton of fish in the sea, so when you donât find the Nemo to your Dory, it kind of sucks.
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If you havenât met the love of your lifeâ"the person you want to wake up next to every day for the rest of your lifeâ"itâs OK. Thatâs a huge decision. Donât let other peopleâs expectations (or nosy questions) make you rush into something that isnât right. Thatâll just lead to way more heartache down the road. And if youâre putting pressure on yourself because you must. Settle. Down. By. Age. 30, maybe itâs time to rethink your time frame.
3. Your Dream Job
While it's awesome to be ambitious, the reality is that most of us start in entry-level jobs with mind-numbing tasks like checking email and fetching coffee (been there, done that). But no matter where you start, even on the lowest rung of the corporate ladder, there's ample opportunity to grow, network, and learn from the people around you. Getting the career you want involves busting your assâ"and being humble in the process.
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Also: Even if you find out your so-called dream job is a dud, thereâs a silver lining. As this article points out, that kind of âcareer reality check can inspire soul-searchingâ"and ultimately lead you in an unexpected, more satisfying direction.â And your 20s are meant to be a time for finding that out.
4. Where You Want to Live for the Rest of Your Life
...let alone owning a home in that city. If youâre still renting your place, own itâ"er, be proud of it. This is probably the only time in your life youâre not going to be tied down by mortgage payments, a car, a partner, and/or kids. Move once (or twice). Check out new cities you may want to live in. Spend more time outside your apartment than you do in it. Unless youâre deeply in love with where you live (more power to you if so!), isnât it more fun NOT to know where youâll be in five, 10, or 20 years?
5. Running a Marathon
Or a triathlon or even a half-marathon. This is not a prerequisite you have to check off your life to-do list. Of course, if running, biking, or swimming is your thing, go for it. But there are plenty of other ways to work out that donât involve losing toenails, peeing in a wetsuit, or exhausting yourself, physically and mentally. Move your body in a way that makes you feel goodâ"thatâs all that matters.
6. Starting a Side Business
Sometimes it sounds like everyone has a side gig or passion project they work on after their 9-to-5. While there are definitely advantages to pursuing your passion outside of your day job, donât beat yourself up if you havenât quite found one yet. If youâd rather leave work, go home, and veg out in front of Netflix most nights, thatâs your prerogative. And working hard at your day jobâ"where theyâre paying you to be fully presentâ"is your no. 1 priority right now.
7. Your Faith
Maybe you grew up praying before every meal and going to church every Sunday. Maybe your parents couldnât care less about religion. Either way, itâs now up to you to decide what type of role you want faithâ"in any higher powerâ"to play in your life. In our 20s, many of us stray away from how our parents approached religion (and I bet your parents did the same thing). Whether youâve gotten into mindful meditation, you still go to Bible studies, or youâve stopped thinking about faith altogether, whatever you believe in is your choice. Just keep the faith youâll figure it all out.
8. Cooking Fancy Meals
While weâre all about learning kitchen basics, if cooking just isnât your thing, donât beat yourself up about it. Knowing how to make pasta or the perfect boiled egg are nice skills to have, but donât feel like you need to throw together four-course dinner parties for your friends every weekend. Youâll have plenty of time later in life to brush up on your knife skills.
9. The Right Balance Between Your Relationships
Your third decade of life may start in college, where youâre surrounded by friends day and night. By the end of it, some people will have settled down with just one person, maybe for life. In between, there will be periods of reveling in your glorious singledom as well as those crazy-in-love times when you canât leave your S.O.âs side. Both are perfectly fine and normal, but finding the exact ratio of time to give your love interests, your friends, and your family is a giant balancing act that takes time to figure out. True friends will stick with you through it all (and call you out for being MIA when they havenât seen you in weeks).
10. Allllll of Your Finances
There are a few things you should know about managing money in your 20s, but if you arenât actively investing in the stock market or are still paying off student loans, itâs OK. (In fact, itâs probably smart to be wary of that app idea your friends think up one night at a bar.) While itâs great to sock some money away in a 401(k) if your company offers one, donât sweat it if not. Just be sure to save some money, whether itâs in an IRA or a savings account!
11. Designing the ~Perfect~ Home or Apartment
Truth: IKEA furniture rocks. (My couch and coffee table from that magical place still look good after almost six years.) So do picture frames and towels from Target. Whether youâre still in the roommate stage or living solo, you donât need to have fully decked-out digs with pricey furniture and original artwork. Make your place as cozy and livable and cute as youâd likeâ"there are plenty of ways to do that for almost no money. And be grateful if you donât have to deal with a mortgage and yard maintenance (yet).
12. Exactly What You Want to Do in Life
Hereâs a little secret: No one really knows what theyâre doingâ"especially in their 20s. No, itâs not a throwaway decade, but itâs also not a race. Take the time to figure out what you really, really want in life and work toward it, but donât freak out if you donât havenât achieved all the things you thought you wouldâve by some made-up milestone. You only have one life, and itâs way too short to spend beating yourself up.
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